It was obvious from the start that “orthodox black metal” was basically nothing more than a fake musical “trend” created by and for people who hate black metal – i.e. “666 > Jesus” is actually “666 = Jesus”, as even Varg Vikernes, Fenriz and Ihsahn have both pointed out in multiple interviews, starting in early 1994 (!). It’s pretty much a walking, talking caricature of black metal and its most risible stereotypes – conceived with the avowed goal of making black metal fans appear the most retarded, neurotic and off-putting imaginable. Is it a surprise that “orthodox” black metal, much like their “modernist” counterparts in Deafheaven and the post-black shoegaze cult that “orthodox” black metal fans pretend to oppose, is so heavily promoted by the media and by those who hate black metal? the conquest and subjugation of Scandinavia by “peace loving” Christians – rather than semi-retarded shouts of “Hail Satan” and LARPy “devil-worship” that would seem camp even in a Hollywood remake of medieval Catholic witch hunts. Straight up: copying lyrics from alchemical literature is the easiest way to sound “occult” to moronic – again, in the literal/medical sense of having a ~65 IQ – and indiscriminate audience members, but it’s also a pathetic and rather transparent attempt at introducing Judeo-Christian mythology, sometimes even Kabbalism and “Holocaust culture”, into black metal, a genre whose lyrical themes mostly involved European mythology, paganism and an opposition to Christianity based on sensible, reasonable and well-documented facts – ex. Their entire movement reeks of image-over-sound, and simply manages to taint serious black metal bands via association with the worst kind of (((Hollywood Satanism))) imaginable. The dictionary definition of poser – “a person who poses an exhibitionist”. The most polite way I can phrase it: the “orthodox” movement in a scam, and their bands and fans are posers. Of course, many fans of the “orthodox” “black metal” scene will point to the excesses of “modern” black metal – and notably the cringe-inducing genre fusions popularised by bands like Deafheaven and nu-Satyricon – but that’s missing the forest for the trees... the “orthodox” bands are guilty of the same artistic paddling, musical mediocrity, gimmicky posturing and complete insincerity that their fans accused modern bands of indulging in.Īnd to add to the hypocrisy of such “selective elitism”, the “orthodox” black metal scene is usually the biggest offender when it comes to prostration, commercialism and all around poserdom (see this excellent take down of Watain’s shit “666 > U” gimmick on Metalious). The music played by Watain has nothing to do with Darkthrone, Burzum and Phantom, and in many it has more in common with pop metal acts like Nightwish, Evanescence and Dimmu Borgir than with early Norwegian black metal. It’s not “orthodox” and it’s not “black metal”. (((Hollywood Satanism))), the cancer of black metal. So what’s the problem of this self-styled “orthodox” movement? Let’s start with the fact that it’s a lie. The term “orthodox” black metal used here denotes not the original early Norwegian black metal scene, which spawned bands like Mayhem, Darkthrone and Burzum, but rather points to the living and evolving movement of imitation or gimmick bands lacking any musical ideas of value, spearheaded by shit bands like Watain, Deathspell Omega, Dark Funeral, Archgoat, Antekhrist, Belphegor, Antaeus and, of course, the infamous Gorgoroth – particularly since drama quee clown Infernus took over.